Nursery Whines is taking a break this week. But we have dug out last summer's anthem from the archives. Many thanks to Damon Albarn. This is the tune we live our lives to most of the time to be honest. Here is my reinterpretation of Parklife, through the eyes of a parent. Well, life is …
As Cliff Richard famously crooned, "Everybody has a summer holiday." But whether we are, "Doin' thing we always wanted to", or things we feel we have to do to fill the weeks and weeks of having children at home all day, is highly debatable. And it's not just, "a week or two", as Sir Cliff …
As a celebrity journalist I have attended my share of parties. Over the years you learn who puts on the best shindig and fills the best goody bag, and how to ensure you have a ball and bag a scoop without turning into a pumpkin when you have work the next day. But children's birthday …
Continue reading Top 5 Tips For Surviving Children’s Parties
My daughter's right leg is currently in plaster. Before the age of two she has suffered a fractured metatarsal, damage to a bone in her foot. It is a common injury in professional footballers and dancers. She incurred her damage jumping off the bed. "Mummy called the doctor and the doctor and the doctor said, …
Continue reading Helicopter Parenting – How Low Should You Go?
It can be hard being the mature and sensible one. Calmly consoling a hysterical toddler, whose world has just ended because they didn't get whole packet of biscuits, by trying to point out they could at least enjoy the two they do have. Or sagely advising that the park will still be there tomorrow and …
The friends we make in our early years are mostly through our parents. They hang out with their mates and while the grown-ups chat and enjoy a glass of something, we are expected to get on and play nicely with their kids. It's a tried and tested method of starting a friendship, and I'm not …
It has become clear to me that I keep making the same mistake. My daughter finally nods off in the pushchair and I race home like a lunatic to run around the house like a headless chicken, trying to get all the things on my to do list done before she wakes up. As a …
Every time I open my fridge, I knock another shower of glitter onto the floor. Its doors are already covered in the artistic creations of my budding little expressionist. And she is only 20 months old. If she keeps on producing art at this prolific rate, the Tate Modern are going to have to build …
Sometimes I wonder what you would choose to save first in an emergency. Caught up in a force majeure would your instinct be to reach for your phone, then once you we sure it was secure, remember to scoop up your daughter? It probably wouldn't be an issue as your phone would most likely already …
It's late afternoon and I am starting to get that sinking feeling. The air around me is becoming thick and heavy and everything suddenly seems much further away. I try to focus on my surroundings, digging my fingernails into my palms in a desperate bid to cling onto consciousness. But I soon know that I …
