"Digging for treasure, juggling pheasants, playing the trumpet." What does your child really get up to at school?

"Digging for treasure, juggling pheasants, playing the trumpet." What does your child really get up to at school?
"Once I became Miss Butterfly Unicorn and remembered to call her Princess Sparkle Jewel, she would do whatever I asked her to."
"When Grandma stuck her head out of the frontdoor wearing a mask over her face, Little Red Riding Hood did think her ears were looking rather larger and furrier than usual."
"Let's not get bogged down in the things that Dominic Cummings could learn from a four-year-old...."
Time stretches out before us each day, the second hand apparently sticking not ticking, as the question, 'Is it snack time?', plays on repeat."
"What other words for bum do you know?"
"Doing something for yourself shouldn't come bottom of a parent's list."
"My director has exited and I am left frozen in the centre of an empty stage waiting for my cue. What do I do now?"
"Mummy, may I have a vitamin please?"
"When it comes to critiquing my packed lunch efforts my daughter could have given Egon Ronay a run for his money."