"When I am a teenager I shall dye my hair purple, With red high heels that give me blisters and I can't walk in properly."
I sit in the shadows - waiting for the sound of breathing to become deep and even so I can creep out - and let my magic chair whisk me away.
Licking marmite smears off children's faces - isn't that what Tiger Moms do?
When she shouts, "Never do that again!" it's definitely my fault.
It's not just about our children's future - it's the world's future.
As the eldest child of five, all through my early life I was dogged by the phrase, “Set a good example.” “Finish all your vegetables”; “Don’t pick your nose”; "Let someone else have a turn”; “Don’t climb on the furniture”; “Tidy your room”. The eyes of the world were supposedly on me, and the weight …