"I am not judgin'. But for me the missin' G is not about speakin'. It's just about spellin'."
"Sometimes I've said yes to as many as six impossible things before breakfast - because I wasn't actually listening."
"When I am a teenager I shall dye my hair purple, With red high heels that give me blisters and I can't walk in properly."
"M is for more coffee"
"I want to be declared Star of the Week! All that time I'm putting in to focusing on letter formation and phonic blends... I deserve a class clap and a rainbow emoji goddamnit!"
I sit in the shadows - waiting for the sound of breathing to become deep and even so I can creep out - and let my magic chair whisk me away.
"The innocent pleasure she takes from admiring her own sparkly toes or playing at pouting in the mirror seems harmless enough. "
"She is not just content with her mother's love, she wants the whole world to be her audience."
"I was not going to be getting away from it all on this holiday."
Licking marmite smears off children's faces - isn't that what Tiger Moms do?