1976, starring Jodie Foster and Barbara Harris and remade in 2003 with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. Teenage daughter and mother wake up to find they have swapped bodies and after a day in each other’s shoes learn to understand each other.
One night I went to bed a wreckless young person with no responsibilities and my whole life ahead of me.
Next thing I knew I woke up and I have a child to look after and a house to clean and the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I feel like I have been thrown in at the deep end with no proper training or preparation and I’m having to make it all up as I go along in a desperate bid for survival.
Except there is no youthful body for me to swap back into, even if I could work out what magic spell would get me there. And all I really want is my mummy.
::Three Men And A Baby
1987, starring Tom Selleck, Steve Guetenberg and Ted Danson. Three carefree, successful flatmates find a baby left on their doorstep. Hilarity and chaos ensues as they attempt to get to grips with caring for an infant but can’t help growing to love her.
I don’t share their hairy chests or incredible Manhattan real estate, but so many times in the last year I have felt just like Tom, Steve and Ted. Whether it’s getting pee-ed on, watching helplessly as my home is invaded by baby equipment, reading gruesome news reports from the paper in a cooing voice in an attempt to sooth, nodding off as she feeds or just generally feeling like this is really hard work that I wasn’t in the least bit prepared for.
If only they popped round every now and again to sing her to sleep, Barbershop style.
1987, starring Diane Keaton. High-powered New York business woman is left orphaned baby by distant relative. She is forced to move to the country to start a new life, launches her own baby food brand and realises she wants more from life than a corner office.
If you have seen this movie you may remember a scene where Diane Keaton just can’t take life as a lonely, exhausted mother and homeowner in the sticks any more and loses it – shrieking, crying, tearing her hair out and passing out, flat on her back, cartoon style. This replays in my head on a daily basis.
I don’t want a corner office, I don’t want to be asked out by a handsome and charming vet, but I do want to find a successful business venture to channel my creativity into and give me a sense of purpose in life. And I would quite like to have a mini-breakdown, just once, and let it all out.
::The Sound Of Music
1965 starring Julie Andrews. A young nun struggling to fit in at the convent is sent to try a new vocation as a nanny to seven children. She finds that pretty difficult too but attempts to make life fun with lots of games and singing. And then she ends up marrying their father and they all escape from the Nazis.
I like to sing and I seem to spend all day serenading my baby. But I’m certainly no Mary Poppins, as I am not Practically Perfect in any way and I don’t have any magic tricks up my sleeve. So Dame Julie’s other childcare film seems to resonate a lot more.
I do enjoy going swimming and to Messy Play with my daughter and generally joining in with her games. I’d love to be able to yodel and sew clothes out of curtains and dance around fountains.
And when I look into her big wide eyes and see that she loves me back, I do think, somewhere in her youth and childhood, I must be doing something good.
1990, starring Macaulay Culkin. An eight-year-old boy is left behind when his family go on holiday for Christmas and at first he is delighted, but then he starts to miss his family. Meanwhile, two burglars are targeting the neighbourhood so he must defend his home.
At first it was great having the house to myself. I could stay in my pyjamas all day if I fancied, watch what I wanted on Netflix and eat junk food. That quickly got boring and I all I want is some company and a cuddle.
But if Kevin McCallister taught me anything, it is to man-up, do the laundry, tidy the house and get a nutritious meal on the table.
And instead of a bad guy with missing teeth trying to invade my home, I have a bad baby with growing teeth trying to destroy it from the inside who I must fend off… without the bricks and kerosene.
1984, starring Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates. A boy is given a cute little furry creature as a pet, but after not sticking to its strict care regime it turns into a terrifying, uncontrollable monster.
I signed up to take care of an adorable and helpless little creature with big, blinking eyes and a sweet little mewl, who was so cute and cuddly.
Now I have a torturous, screeching, fanged monster on my hands who I can’t control.
1987, starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Coming of age romance with some smooth moves, a fantastic soundtrack and some unforgettable lines.
Because, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” As if she’d ever let me forget it!