12 Baby Facts Yet To Be Proven By Science But Which All Parents Know To Be True

1. Your baby is hardwired to wake up the second you pour yourself a hot drink and sit down to relax. Do not even try to convince yourself you should have just said, ‘Sod tidying the kitchen!’, and had a cuppa first. If you had, your baby would have just woken up sooner.
2. Infants are predisposed to fill their nappies just as you are about to go somewhere. They are also naturally inclined to ensure their nappy leaks on the day you decide to put them in that brand new outfit you were saving for a special occasion.
3. A child’s appetite will always increase dramatically in strength if you are in the middle of preparing, or have not yet managed to prepare, food. Just as the appetite grows larger when you are out and about and have only brought a set amount of food. It also follows that should you have pre-prepared a meal, particularly one that is homemade and requires a lot of effort, the baby’s appetite will be lost.
4. Babies are genetically conditioned to sleep through the night the one time you don’t bother to set an alarm but have somewhere important to be.
5. A child is not physically able to perform its best new trick in front of others, no matter how much they seemed never to tire of it in front of you. Your best option is to keep it to yourself and hope they spontaneously demonstrate it in public. But they are more attuned to do it when no one is looking.
6. A baby is able to sense the one time you don’t have a clean nappy ready to go straight underneath when you change them, and are guaranteed to wee everywhere in seconds. They get an added endorphin release if it is on an occasion you thought you could get away with a quick change not using a mat.
7. Infants have a subconscious awareness of which substances make the most mess, even if they have never encountered them before. They also have an inbuilt sonar system to detect objects which are the most difficult to clean, so that they can spray said debris in that direction.
8. Babies feel most comfortable sleeping in the position which is most painful and uncomfortable for you. But, regardless of how deep their slumber appears to be, they will wake instantly should you move a millimetre.
9. Children are always more pleased to see their secondary carer the second they walk through the door, regardless of previous mood. Except if you are planning to leave them with the secondary carer and dare to take some time for yourself. Children can sense this and will act up accordingly.
10. A baby’s cry will always be louder the more quiet their environment. Despite having no noise to compete with they emit a much greater sound when surrounded by silence, in locations such as a waiting room, a library, a church or a group activity populated by quiet and well-behaved children.
11. Children are able to lock their skeletons at will, imitating a plank of wood, rendering it impossible to put them into a buggy, highchair or bed when you need to.
12. A child’s ability to fight sleep is colossal. They can smell exhaustion and any desire you have for an early night only fuels their fire. However, the moment you decide that keeping them awake might be at all convenient for you will trigger a reflex action in them to nod off immediately.

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18 thoughts on “12 Baby Facts Yet To Be Proven By Science But Which All Parents Know To Be True

  1. Yes, yes, yes to all of this! Especially them being most comfortable when you are at your least comfortable. The times I've woken up with a stiff neck and holding on to dear life in my (super king sized bed mind) because my almost 3 year old has decided to lay horizontal! #stayclassy

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  2. This is so very true. Especially the special occasion outfit. I bought my son a nice outfit fit a wedding. Wanted to try it on him when we got home to make sure it would fit ok and he decided to fill his nappy, and it went onto his outfit- worst thing is it was too small but had to keep it! They just know! #stayclassymama

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  3. OMG Baba is a specialist at numbers 9 and 12. Monsieur won't sleep if he decided not to. And when his Dad takes him in his arms and flies him around like Superman, I swear the babe looks at me with a smirk, thinking 'Finally someone fun in this house…' I don't have the strength to do that all day…#StayClassyMama.

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  4. number 11 cracked me up! This used to be the one that infuriated me the most! Its been a while since I had babies around me full time, so I don't really witness any of these anymore (except when Im with my nephew) but it was fun travelling back down memory lane haha #stayclassymama

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  5. Oh yes. My little one is a master at all of these and demonstrating them all admirably today. Bedtime, should she decide to have one, cannot come soon enough today! Thanks for giving me 5 mins of sanity back whilst reading your post! #fortheloveofBLOG x

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  6. Number 11 had me laughing so hard-it is totally my life right now! He surprised me at how strong he is, I mean, he's only 1! We're currently In day 5 of no nap…this mommy is tired, and drinking her radiated coffee which has been microwaved 3 times today haha! #StayClassy

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  7. Hahaha…this is a brilliant list. #2 used to happen at our place all the time. I remember the first big party we had for #1 and of course he had to fill his nappy TWICE and leaked through his brand new lovely outfit which I bought him…grrr…. Thanks for linking with #bigpinklink

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  8. Nice post! Those who are parent already, must have a clear knowledge of all about the baby behavior. Above 12 baby facts are completely true and every parent have realized that. Those it has not been proven by science but these are true. It was pretty cool reading all these. It remind me of the time we have our first baby.

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